Post by Angeleyez on Apr 18, 2003 16:48:18 GMT -5
Chapter Four continued...
-*-
“Mom?” Rory called out as she entered her childhood home.
“Ror?” A startled reply came from the kitchen.
Rory shut the door behind her and entered the kitchen and found Lorelai and Luke eating a late dinner at the table.
Lorelai jumped up as soon as she saw Rory and rushed over to hug her. Rory’s anger at her mother suddenly left along with her air supply as her mother threw her arms around her.
“Sweetie, I am so happy to see you!”
“Mom, I can’t breathe,” Rory choked out.
Lorelai stepped backwards. “Right, sorry. But hey, wow! You’re here!”
“Yeah, I’m here.” She nodded.
Luke stood up and gave her an awkward hug. “Good to see you.”
Rory gave him a nod and a mumbled hello. She wanted to ask about Jess but was afraid to bring him up. One, she didn’t want to get mad at her mother again although most her anger was gone, and two, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to see him again.
“Are you hungry? We have cheeseburgers and veggie burgers. A nice variety,” Lorelai explained.
“No, not too hungry. But I’m dying for a cup of coffee.”
Luke went off to make more while Rory headed into her room to unpack. And it was as she unzipped her bag that she heard the front door open. And then came his voice.
“Luke, I closed up the diner but I think you have my keys.” His voice floated to her ears and suddenly the butterflies in her stomach were tearing each other up along with the interior of her stomach.
She heard her mom say something to him but she couldn’t make out exactly what it was. Her ears were concentrating only on one sound. And before she knew it, he was standing in her doorway. Her entire body froze as did as all thought process. She couldn’t believe that here he was standing right in front of her.
“Hi,” he said.
It took her a full minute to respond. Her brain slowly began to work again. “Hi,” she whispered.
They were both staring at each other and it felt so…weird, for lack of a better word. It was like the awkwardness of a blind date. When you don’t know the person at all and the conversation is plagued with uncomfortable silences. And eye contact makes you feel self-conscious so your eyes wander the room landing on everything but him.
But this wasn’t a date and he was looking at her. He was studying her with a scrutinizing gaze and though she wouldn’t admit it, she was doing the same to him. As if a different hair style or an extra line on the face could explain the changes over time. Perhaps the small scar on Jess’s left cheek would tell her. He looked mostly the same though, with his dark, unruly hair and the same brown eyes she used to get lost in.
She missed staring into his eyes as cheesy as it sounds. After all, for the past five years they had been closed. The thought got her thinking and before she could stop herself, the words slipped out of her mouth. “I missed you.”
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, she spoke at the same Jess did. His words, “You look different,” meshed together with hers and neither heard what the other had said. They then both asked “What?” at the same time. She gestured for him to speak as she didn’t think she would be able to repeat herself.
“You look different,” he said again.
“Different good?”
“More grown up.”
She opened her mouth to explain the obvious, that she had grown up, but her cell phone rang at that point. She was grateful for the distraction.
“I have to get that,” she explained and turned to pick up her phone.
“Of course,” he nodded.
She grabbed her phone out of her purse knowing instantly who it was. “Hello?”
“Hi, honey,” Sam replied cheerfully on the other end.
Rory turned around and was surprised to find that Jess was no longer standing in the doorway. She walked forward and closed the door before answering Sam. “Hey, Sam. It’s great to hear from you.” It was a truth and a lie. She kept her voice quiet and walked over to the farthest corner of her room.
A part of her couldn’t understand why she was hiding this engagement. The other part was yelling that it was obvious. She was still in love with Jess and was hoping for another chance. She couldn’t tell him she was engaged. Did he even know that she had been seeing someone?
“So how is it there?” Sam asked.
“It’s great. Just like it was when I lived her. But my mom wants me to watch a movie with her so I gotta go.”
“Okay.” He sounded disappointed. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Why did that sound so forced?
She hung up and walked out of her room to find her mom lying on the couch. “Hey, hun,” she said as she jumped up.
“Hi, Mom. Did…Luke leave?”
“Yeah, he and Jess both left.”
“Oh.” Disappointment killed the butterflies in her stomach. “Okay. I think I’m going to go to bed.”
“Are you sure? Because Luke made that coffee you wanted.”
“Oh, no thanks. You’re welcome to it though.”
“Technically, I’m not allowed to drink your coffee according to Luke. But since you offered it to me.” Lorelai walked over and hugged her daughter. “It’s going to be weird at first. But that’ll change.”
“Right,” Rory mumbled.
They released from their hug and Rory headed back into her room. She grabbed a pair of pajamas from her overnight bag before knocking the bag to the floor. After taking off her jeans, she threw on her cow covered pants. It was a gift from her mother last year and it usually made her giggle. But tonight she was not in the mood. Her bed had no sheets and the pillow was without a pillowcase but at that point it didn’t matter. There was a blanket and that was all she needed.
Tiredness overwhelmed her as did her headache. As she hit the pillow, the thought of taking an aspirin seemed really good to her but she doubted she had enough energy to get up. She closed her eyes and then instantly opened them. Sleep, no matter how tired she was, was not going to come easily.
So her mind drifted to Jess and their anti-climatic meeting. It had been nothing like she had hoped for. They were supposed to run to each other and then jump into each other’s arms. And then do the whole spinning around staring into each other’s eyes bit. Not just stare at each other awkwardly. In retrospect though, she realized she really should not have picked up her phone. They were talking or well, trying to talk, and answering her phone had made him leave. Like a phone call was more important than him. How stupid was she?
And so began a long night of chastising herself over their meeting and staring around the room.
-*-
And it was hours later when she couldn’t take it anymore. The staring around the room at the millions of books she had. She didn’t like knowing that they were there. It made her want to grab one and begin to read. Unfortunately, something she still couldn’t do. It was why she had only brought a few books with her to New York. Wishful thinking of one day reading them but that had never happened.
So it was around two AM that she jumped out of bed and threw her shoes on. If the weather was anything like it was only hours earlier than a coat wouldn’t be needed. She quietly crept through her house and then out the front door. She hadn’t a clue where she wanted to go but it was obvious where she would end up. It was always the same place. And hopefully the walk would clear her mind. Or at least make her tired enough to actually fall asleep.
As she walked through town, thoughts of Sam and Jess swam through her head. So far the clearing her head part was not working. Sam. Jess. Jess. Sam. Jess. Sam. Sess. Jam. Sess? Jam?! Oh, she was way too overtired.
And eventually her feet brought her to the bridge as she knew they would. She stood at the end of the bridge ready to walk forward when she saw him. Or at least, the dim outline of him. Who else would it be? And while part of her was surprised to see him there, the other part wasn’t. After all, it was what she had been hoping for when she had gotten out of bed. Maybe he was even here for the same reason she was. Maybe he was thinking of her.
This time she was determined to work through the weirdness. They would have a real conversation and she would find out that he was the same person who used to argue about books with her and would sneak coffee to her and her mom when Luke wasn’t looking.
She began to walk towards him and the sounds of her footsteps caused him too look up. She sat down a couple of feet away from him.
“Hi, Jess,” she said.
He turned to her. “Hey, Ror.”
Silence fell and she was determined to break it. Although, she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to say next.
-*-
“Mom?” Rory called out as she entered her childhood home.
“Ror?” A startled reply came from the kitchen.
Rory shut the door behind her and entered the kitchen and found Lorelai and Luke eating a late dinner at the table.
Lorelai jumped up as soon as she saw Rory and rushed over to hug her. Rory’s anger at her mother suddenly left along with her air supply as her mother threw her arms around her.
“Sweetie, I am so happy to see you!”
“Mom, I can’t breathe,” Rory choked out.
Lorelai stepped backwards. “Right, sorry. But hey, wow! You’re here!”
“Yeah, I’m here.” She nodded.
Luke stood up and gave her an awkward hug. “Good to see you.”
Rory gave him a nod and a mumbled hello. She wanted to ask about Jess but was afraid to bring him up. One, she didn’t want to get mad at her mother again although most her anger was gone, and two, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to see him again.
“Are you hungry? We have cheeseburgers and veggie burgers. A nice variety,” Lorelai explained.
“No, not too hungry. But I’m dying for a cup of coffee.”
Luke went off to make more while Rory headed into her room to unpack. And it was as she unzipped her bag that she heard the front door open. And then came his voice.
“Luke, I closed up the diner but I think you have my keys.” His voice floated to her ears and suddenly the butterflies in her stomach were tearing each other up along with the interior of her stomach.
She heard her mom say something to him but she couldn’t make out exactly what it was. Her ears were concentrating only on one sound. And before she knew it, he was standing in her doorway. Her entire body froze as did as all thought process. She couldn’t believe that here he was standing right in front of her.
“Hi,” he said.
It took her a full minute to respond. Her brain slowly began to work again. “Hi,” she whispered.
They were both staring at each other and it felt so…weird, for lack of a better word. It was like the awkwardness of a blind date. When you don’t know the person at all and the conversation is plagued with uncomfortable silences. And eye contact makes you feel self-conscious so your eyes wander the room landing on everything but him.
But this wasn’t a date and he was looking at her. He was studying her with a scrutinizing gaze and though she wouldn’t admit it, she was doing the same to him. As if a different hair style or an extra line on the face could explain the changes over time. Perhaps the small scar on Jess’s left cheek would tell her. He looked mostly the same though, with his dark, unruly hair and the same brown eyes she used to get lost in.
She missed staring into his eyes as cheesy as it sounds. After all, for the past five years they had been closed. The thought got her thinking and before she could stop herself, the words slipped out of her mouth. “I missed you.”
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, she spoke at the same Jess did. His words, “You look different,” meshed together with hers and neither heard what the other had said. They then both asked “What?” at the same time. She gestured for him to speak as she didn’t think she would be able to repeat herself.
“You look different,” he said again.
“Different good?”
“More grown up.”
She opened her mouth to explain the obvious, that she had grown up, but her cell phone rang at that point. She was grateful for the distraction.
“I have to get that,” she explained and turned to pick up her phone.
“Of course,” he nodded.
She grabbed her phone out of her purse knowing instantly who it was. “Hello?”
“Hi, honey,” Sam replied cheerfully on the other end.
Rory turned around and was surprised to find that Jess was no longer standing in the doorway. She walked forward and closed the door before answering Sam. “Hey, Sam. It’s great to hear from you.” It was a truth and a lie. She kept her voice quiet and walked over to the farthest corner of her room.
A part of her couldn’t understand why she was hiding this engagement. The other part was yelling that it was obvious. She was still in love with Jess and was hoping for another chance. She couldn’t tell him she was engaged. Did he even know that she had been seeing someone?
“So how is it there?” Sam asked.
“It’s great. Just like it was when I lived her. But my mom wants me to watch a movie with her so I gotta go.”
“Okay.” He sounded disappointed. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Why did that sound so forced?
She hung up and walked out of her room to find her mom lying on the couch. “Hey, hun,” she said as she jumped up.
“Hi, Mom. Did…Luke leave?”
“Yeah, he and Jess both left.”
“Oh.” Disappointment killed the butterflies in her stomach. “Okay. I think I’m going to go to bed.”
“Are you sure? Because Luke made that coffee you wanted.”
“Oh, no thanks. You’re welcome to it though.”
“Technically, I’m not allowed to drink your coffee according to Luke. But since you offered it to me.” Lorelai walked over and hugged her daughter. “It’s going to be weird at first. But that’ll change.”
“Right,” Rory mumbled.
They released from their hug and Rory headed back into her room. She grabbed a pair of pajamas from her overnight bag before knocking the bag to the floor. After taking off her jeans, she threw on her cow covered pants. It was a gift from her mother last year and it usually made her giggle. But tonight she was not in the mood. Her bed had no sheets and the pillow was without a pillowcase but at that point it didn’t matter. There was a blanket and that was all she needed.
Tiredness overwhelmed her as did her headache. As she hit the pillow, the thought of taking an aspirin seemed really good to her but she doubted she had enough energy to get up. She closed her eyes and then instantly opened them. Sleep, no matter how tired she was, was not going to come easily.
So her mind drifted to Jess and their anti-climatic meeting. It had been nothing like she had hoped for. They were supposed to run to each other and then jump into each other’s arms. And then do the whole spinning around staring into each other’s eyes bit. Not just stare at each other awkwardly. In retrospect though, she realized she really should not have picked up her phone. They were talking or well, trying to talk, and answering her phone had made him leave. Like a phone call was more important than him. How stupid was she?
And so began a long night of chastising herself over their meeting and staring around the room.
-*-
And it was hours later when she couldn’t take it anymore. The staring around the room at the millions of books she had. She didn’t like knowing that they were there. It made her want to grab one and begin to read. Unfortunately, something she still couldn’t do. It was why she had only brought a few books with her to New York. Wishful thinking of one day reading them but that had never happened.
So it was around two AM that she jumped out of bed and threw her shoes on. If the weather was anything like it was only hours earlier than a coat wouldn’t be needed. She quietly crept through her house and then out the front door. She hadn’t a clue where she wanted to go but it was obvious where she would end up. It was always the same place. And hopefully the walk would clear her mind. Or at least make her tired enough to actually fall asleep.
As she walked through town, thoughts of Sam and Jess swam through her head. So far the clearing her head part was not working. Sam. Jess. Jess. Sam. Jess. Sam. Sess. Jam. Sess? Jam?! Oh, she was way too overtired.
And eventually her feet brought her to the bridge as she knew they would. She stood at the end of the bridge ready to walk forward when she saw him. Or at least, the dim outline of him. Who else would it be? And while part of her was surprised to see him there, the other part wasn’t. After all, it was what she had been hoping for when she had gotten out of bed. Maybe he was even here for the same reason she was. Maybe he was thinking of her.
This time she was determined to work through the weirdness. They would have a real conversation and she would find out that he was the same person who used to argue about books with her and would sneak coffee to her and her mom when Luke wasn’t looking.
She began to walk towards him and the sounds of her footsteps caused him too look up. She sat down a couple of feet away from him.
“Hi, Jess,” she said.
He turned to her. “Hey, Ror.”
Silence fell and she was determined to break it. Although, she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to say next.